I empathize with a big portion of this. I remember at one point when I was really bad. Bad enough to get shipped to San Francisco to be in a mental hospital for awhile. My dad told me that the thoughts I have may never completely dissappear but if I work at it I'll gwt better at working around them, even fighting back against them. He was right, of course in those low times it feels like progress is lost and any grip you had has slipped. But it doesn't make it not true that you can get better at fighting against these thoughts.
gonna be 36 next month. Every day I wonder if I should of died way back when. If I should now. After I lost my dad then my grandma is only made it worse. (less reasons to live is how I saw it.) But those feelings can be switched. perspective changes are so fucking hard to make but it can help. almost like debating with yourself. And it comes down to no one else but me. That I want to get better. thats a goal. one I strive for every day.
what I'm saying is, I understand the feelings. I'm sorry you have to deal with them. no one should have to deal with these things. Just remember to go easy on yourself when your low. try to hype yourself up when you're not and argue with the voices and thoughts.
Hell these posts you make are an insanely smart way to help navigate them.
I empathize with a big portion of this. I remember at one point when I was really bad. Bad enough to get shipped to San Francisco to be in a mental hospital for awhile. My dad told me that the thoughts I have may never completely dissappear but if I work at it I'll gwt better at working around them, even fighting back against them. He was right, of course in those low times it feels like progress is lost and any grip you had has slipped. But it doesn't make it not true that you can get better at fighting against these thoughts.
gonna be 36 next month. Every day I wonder if I should of died way back when. If I should now. After I lost my dad then my grandma is only made it worse. (less reasons to live is how I saw it.) But those feelings can be switched. perspective changes are so fucking hard to make but it can help. almost like debating with yourself. And it comes down to no one else but me. That I want to get better. thats a goal. one I strive for every day.
what I'm saying is, I understand the feelings. I'm sorry you have to deal with them. no one should have to deal with these things. Just remember to go easy on yourself when your low. try to hype yourself up when you're not and argue with the voices and thoughts.
Hell these posts you make are an insanely smart way to help navigate them.
also, when in doubt. pizza.
Huh, and I used to take my handwriting being compared to Stoker's as a compliment...
BTW you should definitely eat food.
his performative handwriting was good, don't worry.
also yes. i'm feasting on chicken salad right now, and i can definitely see some peanut m&ms in my near future
Good. I would be sad if you stopped eating food.
Some peak game for the next time you go watch a movie in theaters: dump a bag of peanut M&Ms in your popcorn.