december 29th

9:00am

i had a week off work and i guess that meant off everything else, too. i thought i’d have a week of painting and reading and writing and playing as i pleased but instead i mostly slept and cried. i sang a little, played a lot of xiv. only one person noticed i was gone. or maybe it’s that only that one person cared.

christmas was good. really good. everyone was happy and i was glad to see them opening the things i bought and wrapped. the gifts i got from mom and my brother were great. it was a year of presents, me and momma did it. “top three christmas of all time”.

Wild Dark Shore has been very good. i’m taking forever to finish it because i don’t want to finish it. a man like Dom. god, a man like Dom. i suppose i should become more like Rowan. stronger.

nightmares last night didn’t get me bad. i wasn’t the pov and the scenes played out like a 90s video game. more gruesome than scary. i woke up and just rolled over to go back to sleep. that’s a good thing.

i wonder if i should flip my hermit card on the first. i don’t want to jinx anything, but i’ve done it, right? i’ve met the criteria. i have a home, a job. i can pay my bills, my cats are healthy, i can buy books and trinkets and jeans. it all feels too calm for such a monumental event. that’s how it goes sometimes, i guess. sometimes you just flip a card and that’s that.