Hi Lila, I feel you, totally. I’m almost 50 now, and only a couple of years ago I truly stopped the excess giving.
I started gradually cutting people from my life, and I only wish I had done it sooner. They were not all mean or intentionally using me. I just allowed it. They were draining my energy, never returning any of it. It was never mutual.
Sure, I ended up with a very tight circle of friends, almost none, but it’s the best thing I ever did. Yes, I was sad that they didn’t really care about me. I wish they had. But most of all, I wish I had been more honest about them and about my boundaries in the first place.
I prefer being alone rather than fake, if you know what I mean.
my immediate thought to that is "so then when does someone stay?", which is corny as much as it is frustrating. but i can't be a cornball this early in the morning.
I, too, want to read your poem. I think a lot of us are feeling the same way. You arent alone, but the world can make us feel that in a lot of different ways. Especially the internet. You are right to not care less, because honestly I think you be pucking a losing battle. Cant change something like that when its so fundamentally part of yourself. Things are hard out here, but I believe in you.
It’s cliche but the weirder you are (ie. The more you lean into being yourself) the more you’ll attract people who are like you.
That being said…I understand what you’re saying and I’m sorry people are awful. The world can be SUCH a lonely place, especially when you’re a writer—we move through the world in a fundamentally different way.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. It’s not the same as your stuff but even though I know I have people in my life who care about me I don’t know if I have people in my life who truly understand me and it gets exhausting trying to explain myself. Sorry to vent on here, I’ve just been feeling somewhat similar-ish things.
All that being said, maybe this is weird but if you ever want to yap, hit me up! I like talking to people on here and am always down to chat :))
existence is lonely, but my frustration is that it doesn’t have to be. it shouldn’t be. i struggle to figure out all the reasons for why i seem to have always been this way, in this way. but for as long as i breathe i will continue to try. i just might bitch about it, too.
Hi Lila, I feel you, totally. I’m almost 50 now, and only a couple of years ago I truly stopped the excess giving.
I started gradually cutting people from my life, and I only wish I had done it sooner. They were not all mean or intentionally using me. I just allowed it. They were draining my energy, never returning any of it. It was never mutual.
Sure, I ended up with a very tight circle of friends, almost none, but it’s the best thing I ever did. Yes, I was sad that they didn’t really care about me. I wish they had. But most of all, I wish I had been more honest about them and about my boundaries in the first place.
I prefer being alone rather than fake, if you know what I mean.
Lots of hugs to you. 🫶
"maybe it’s because i’m so off. i come off strange. i try not to, but if i try too hard i just become stranger."
I feel this a lot, I feel like a dodo sometimes, an extinct animal
if you feel it too then we are alike! how comforting it is to be alike.
Sometimes people are not meant to be in your life forever. It's lonely and perhaps sad, but not everyone is meant to stay in yours for long.
my immediate thought to that is "so then when does someone stay?", which is corny as much as it is frustrating. but i can't be a cornball this early in the morning.
Thank you for being a caring person in this harsh world and I hope you find your people soon ❤️🩹
thank you<33
I, too, want to read your poem. I think a lot of us are feeling the same way. You arent alone, but the world can make us feel that in a lot of different ways. Especially the internet. You are right to not care less, because honestly I think you be pucking a losing battle. Cant change something like that when its so fundamentally part of yourself. Things are hard out here, but I believe in you.
thank you<3 i'll DM you the poem, if you'd like. it's short and simple and i really like it.
I'd love that!
i think you're an angel Lila. Send me your Poem please I can't find it.
thank you :) i'll dm the poem to you. you can't find it because i haven't posted it. i think i want to submit it somewhere.
It’s cliche but the weirder you are (ie. The more you lean into being yourself) the more you’ll attract people who are like you.
That being said…I understand what you’re saying and I’m sorry people are awful. The world can be SUCH a lonely place, especially when you’re a writer—we move through the world in a fundamentally different way.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. It’s not the same as your stuff but even though I know I have people in my life who care about me I don’t know if I have people in my life who truly understand me and it gets exhausting trying to explain myself. Sorry to vent on here, I’ve just been feeling somewhat similar-ish things.
All that being said, maybe this is weird but if you ever want to yap, hit me up! I like talking to people on here and am always down to chat :))
I hope you feel better soon! Sending good vibes 🖤
don’t apologize, thank you for sharing<3
existence is lonely, but my frustration is that it doesn’t have to be. it shouldn’t be. i struggle to figure out all the reasons for why i seem to have always been this way, in this way. but for as long as i breathe i will continue to try. i just might bitch about it, too.
thank you :)